Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Randomize
