why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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