Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
