girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I wear drunk well.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
