I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
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