How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
