Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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