No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
