he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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