If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
