We named our party play list daddy issues
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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