Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Randomize
