i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
