If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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