so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
