she was so not down for the gang bang
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
