Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
