i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
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