I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
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