So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I wish I only lived at night.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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