wrigley field is MILF paradise
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
