New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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