Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
