I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Randomize