I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
