im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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