i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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