We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I need a burrito and a hug.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
