don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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