did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
