i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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