Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
He had one of those small greek statue penises
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I am one with the molecules
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
