so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Randomize
