Who did Billy Mays play for?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Dick very happy bro
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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