brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
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