mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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