I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Randomize