He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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