It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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