She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
