Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize