My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
someone threw a dead crab at me
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
