your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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