Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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