Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
