we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize