Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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