Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
