whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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