i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Randomize