Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize