why didn't you poke me back
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
