you're like a bully in the Christmas story
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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