Ambien. No doubt about it.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
