weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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