someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
