Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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