dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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