Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Randomize
