remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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